one two three fourrrrnication!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
