I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
