i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize