dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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