She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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