..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
