apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
