I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
