was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
