I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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