Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
