I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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