i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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