started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
