More tranny stories later!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
