is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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