I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My feet surprised me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
