God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
