apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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