Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
