I'm really into asian looking animals
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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