I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
