I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
