My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
