If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
