It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
