Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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