were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
