K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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