I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
