that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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