Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
