Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
id be glad to
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just pee around me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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