Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
