She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize