I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone shattered a urinal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
