the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
