when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
