when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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