I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
