perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
