Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
