The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
