So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
