i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I think i got beer on your cat.
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