Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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