so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
