do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
