So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
