I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
