he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm like, not good at living.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
