I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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