i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
