she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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